Permafrost
by eratheia
Summary: Haru tries to worm his way through the hardened soils of Yuki's heart, but is Yuki willing? Based on Tumblr's 30 Day Prompt Challenge, each prompt will be a new chapter and is subject to change in length, genre, or character focus.
1. Beginning

_A/N: Hi everyone! This is the first drabble of the 30 Day Prompt Challenge! Every chapter will be a drabble for each prompt, so there will be thirty chapters. The lengths may vary, and my intention is to have each chapter relate to the last one. I don't know where I'm going with this story, and that's the fun of it! With that being said, I begin this challenge with the hopes that you all enjoy!_

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_**Beginning**  
_

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~YUKI~

All week, Haru had been avoiding me. Ever since the incident with Akemi and the Bermuda Syndrome, he'd being doing subtle things for me, yet staying out of my sight. He'd cook breakfast for me and wait in his room until I finished eating. Whenever I walked to school, he stayed behind a few minutes later and then left. During class, he kept his distance. I'd catch a glance from him every now and then, but more often than not, his attention was focused elsewhere.

Lately, Haru had quit fishing and he toned down his weird, energetic self. That worried me... what if he didn't want to live with me anymore? Was it right for me to give him his space or address this now? I didn't know. Since it was a Saturday, I should have been fishing on my day off, but how could I have been concerned with that while all of this was pressing on my mind? He just… he kind of did his own thing from that point onward. Something about it didn't sit well with me, so I came up with my own plan of action, as Natsuki would suggest.

I pretended to sleep in later than I usually would. Eventually, Haru would go outside and spray himself with the garden hose like he did every morning. That would give me the perfect opportunity to corner him before he could hide from me again. There were things I wanted to know, questions I needed the answers to. I waited, and waited, and waited until I finally heard tiny footsteps and my door creaking. He peeked through the crack in the door, then silently slid through and poked me to see if I was awake. I felt my face shifting, slowly starting to break into that grimace I make. If Haru realized I was awake, that would be more awkward than this already was.

_What if I just threw myself over him so he couldn't run? No, that's even worse! What am I thinking?_

I began to sweat. My thoughts were making the situation more difficult than it needed to be. All I had to do was lay there with my eyes closed for a few more seconds, but every possible scenario was filing through my mind in a series of movie reels. Too many "what if's" increased the tension in every moment. Just as I balanced on the verge of a panic attack, the alien changed my pace. Haru leaned down and kissed me, just barely touching his lips to mine. I thought I would drown in my own anxiety as usual, but I didn't. I just laid there, perplexed and not sure what my next move should be. At the least, my eyes did remain closed.

As Haru walked away, I came to a realization. Had Haru been kissing me every morning while I sleep? What if he had been kissing me in the middle of the night as well? He might even use that water gun of his to coax me into kissing him while I'm helpless. I had no idea of what happened and what hadn't anymore. I didn't even know what I should say to him. Should I still ambush him or should I run? Was it even safe to live with him?

And then I felt the water rising past my knees.  
And my lungs began to shrink.  
And my body tightened.  
And my fists clenched.  
And the ocean seeped through every pore in my body.  
And this time, I didn't breathe again.


	2. Accusation

_A/N: Well, here's the second installment of my thirty day prompt challenge. I hope this isn't moving too fast or too slow. Also, I'm thinking about making the next prompt from the POV of Haru. Anywho, enjoy! :3_

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_**Accusation**  
_

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~YUKI~

I found myself at a souvenir shop that I recognized to be near my house. It was odd enough that I was there in the first place. Even worse, I was wearing pajamas. The stares from foreign tourists didn't help the situation, either. I almost raced home in a panic when in the corner of my eye, past the cheap hats, Enoshima hoodies, and magazines, I saw water guns. _Water guns._

Then, something clicked. I knew why I was here.

I began sprinting, trying to reach my house as soon as I could. It was obvious why he came here from his home planet and decided, of all people, to live with me. He was always clinging to me, biting my hair and finding various reasons to touch me. Everywhere I went, he followed. Everything I did, he wanted to be a part of. And if he didn't understand something about me, he did his best to learn. So, if he was an alien, as he frequently proclaimed to be, then there was only one answer to the question at hand: Haru was clearly conducting some kind of experiment on earthlings and I was his test subject. _Clearly._ That being said, if I was in danger, then my grandmother… I had to get home. Fast.

When I arrived at my house, I almost vomited, my fear of confrontation diving straight into the pit of my stomach. As I expected, Haru was in the garden, watering the flowers and himself. Taking a deep breath, I mustered up what little courage I had and approached him. All I wanted to do was calmly ask why he was here. I didn't want to bring up the kiss. At the moment, that was territory that my awkwardness couldn't handle. My plan was to ask a stream of indirect questions and see what kind of answers I would get. If I beat around the bush enough, I might find what I was really looking for.

"H-Haru.." I smoothed down my shirt and pressed my hands to my sides, trying to keep my cool.

"Yuki!" Haru dropped the gardening hose and ran towards me at light speed, latching on to me and repeating my name in a sing-song manner. I was fidgeting in his arms, feeling myself getting more nervous. The heat was coming again, the cold sweat, the shivers in my spine, the weakness in my knees, and the tightening of my face. He was too close to me, too comfortable. The dampness of his clothes seeped through mine, down to my skin, permeating my pores and climbing, ever… so… slowly to my head. As my nerves overcame me, I knew that my plan was done for. I let the ocean of fear in me pour out in a storm.

"Get off of me!" I pushed Haru away, and I knew I was doing so more than physically. "I-I know you've been kissing me in my sleep! And you've probably used that water gun on me for other things too! I don't know why you came to Earth, b-but I don't trust you! I'm not gonna be your experiment anymore! Go home, Haru! I don't want you around my grandmother!"

"Yuki…"

I ran off before giving Haru a chance to speak. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. In the process of it all, my confusion and worry turned to hurt. Even though I knew him little, I had come to trust him. I felt betrayed because he misused that trust. More than anything, I was scared, so scared. Despite the short amount of time we'd known each other, and despite the trust I now realize wasn't there, I was comfortable having him in my life. I liked him here, and I hated the thought that maybe, he shouldn't be here. Maybe it wasn't right. Maybe Akira's accusations held truth. That's a truth I just didn't want to face. And so I ran.


	3. Restless

_A/N: I had an extremely busy day and I didn't get the chance to post this until now! I hope this is alright! I'm a bit tired so I can't be bothered to re-read it multiple times for errors. I did, however, double and triple-check it. I just usually check more than that lol. Enjoy._

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_**Restless**_

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~HARU~

_"Get off of me! I-I know you've been kissing me in my sleep! And you've probably used that water gun on me for other things too! I don't know why you came to Earth, b-but I don't trust you! I'm not gonna be your experiment anymore! Go home, Haru! I don't want you around my grandmother!"_

It was three in the morning, and I was restless from the moon's light. Instead, I kept replaying the day's incident in my head over again, analyzing every word, reversing every action, looking at the small spaces in between. All I wanted was something for us, just for us. No one else. Now, I'd done so much wrong, every mistake was pouring down on me like drops of rain, poisoned by my ignorance.

A few days ago, I was watching what Yuki calls a "television". On the screen, there was a human boy and human girl. They were in a room similar to Yuki's, and they were alone. Their lips touched, and it interested me. What were they doing? Was it similar to how humans shook hands or embraced each other? Was it something that only humans can do with each other? I continued to watch it, and I didn't see any explanation for it. Only one thing was sure: They were very close, the kind of close that I wanted with Yuki.

Since I didn't see why I would press my lips to someone else's, I tried to ignore that thought. I focused on spending time with my friends and fishing. After all, that was the reason Coco and I came to Earth. As time went on, things became less simple. I would walk to school with Yuki, and thoughts of his lips would be in my head, yet I couldn't remember how or when they had gotten there. He might answer a question in class, and the thought would be there again. We would fish, and Yuki would catch something lovely, and there that thought was,_ again_. Before I knew it, I wanted to have Yuki in the way that no one else seemed to have him. I wanted to know what his lips felt like, how the blush in his lips tasted in comparison to the red in his hair. I couldn't recall just when I began to want him in this way. It seemed like this attraction was the beginning of my memory.

So, I did what I always do. I resorted to my water gun, but I couldn't manipulate him to do something I didn't know the outcome of. Instead, I took a hint from the television. The boy and girl were in a bedroom alone. I was only allowed in Yuki's bedroom if he wasn't there. With that in mind, I went to his room while he slept. I wanted to wake him, to say a nice "good morning!" and slightly peck his lips. I wanted something sweet, yet I couldn't gain the courage to do so. It appeared to be easier if I didn't wake him. So today, I was brave. I crept in his room and leaned over him, peacefully asleep. Carefully, I let my lips brush over his. Gently, passionately. The friction sent a tremor through me, a wave of excitement and fear all at once. I felt wrong, I felt right, and a little bit of everything in between.

I didn't know that Yuki would hate me for it. I tried my best not to hurt him, but in the end, that's all I did. I should've been okay with what we had. I shouldn't have asked for more. After all, I was an alien with no understanding of humanity, and he _still_ allowed me to be with him. Why wasn't that enough? Why did I have to have these feelings? I didn't want them if they made me hurt Yuki. I needed to be gone before he awoke, just a thing of the past. But how…

_How do I walk away from life?_


	4. Snowflake

_A/N: Hello! Sorry this update is late! I was going to post it last night, but my tire popped and roadside assistance took three hours! I got home at 2:00am. So, tomorrow I'll update twice. Also, I left my laptop in the car, so I'm updating from my phone. I apologize for any typo I make! When my mom gets home from work with the laptop, I will revise it and add the word count. Thanks for your patience and enjoy today's super long update! :3_

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_**Snowflake**_

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~YUKI~

I checked Haru's room. I checked the living room, every bathroom, both bedrooms, the front yard, the garden. I looked in every corner, every nook and cranny of the house, but I found nothing. Haru was gone.

Yesterday, I had a panic attack. I was afraid, more afraid than I'd ever been in my life. And I gave in. Last night at dinner, Grandma asked me, "Where's Haru? Isn't he going to eat with us?" That was when I should've gotten up and looked for him. Of course, I was too busy being absorbed in my fear and selfishness to care. I didn't respond to my grandmother and went to bed early without eating. Oddly enough, I fell asleep as soon as I laid down. That didn't last long, though.

At 1:04am, I promptly awoke. Another movie reel of thoughts kept me from a full night's rest. All I could think of was Haru. Without him, I'd still be the socially inept loner who couldn't utter a word without choking. I wouldn't have friends. I wouldn't have discovered my love for fishing. What would I be doing right now if he weren't here?

That night, I slid out of bed and had my sight set on Haru. I wanted with all of my heart to apologize. What did I do instead? I stood at the door, too paralyzed to walk in and handle things like I needed to. I just stood there and cried, fighting between who I was and who I wanted to be. Now, here I was, running around the house in a failed attempt to fix a problem that was already beyond my reach.

As I went to the bathroom in the hallway to double-check it again, I heard a hum. It was soft, almost a whisper, but definitely there.

_Haino haino haino, yoisho yoishona..._

Where could it have came from? What could I have missed... _The closets! I didn't check the closets!_

Even before I saw his face, my stomach climbed to the back of my throat. All this time, he'd been hiding from me, probably trying to figure out what to say to me, how to look at me. He felt just like I did. For that, I knew I owed him more. He deserved someone who wouldn't run away.

I went into Haru's room and slid his closet door open. Sure enough, he was there, wearing one of my shirts and sticking band-aids to various parts of his body. His bags were packed and piled around him. The rims of his eyes were red and his cheeks glowed with the dampness of recent tears. When he noticed I was there, he stopped to take the moment in. I had so much to say on the tip of my tongue, but the words escaped me. My mind cleared all thoughts with the exception of one.

"I'm sorry, Haru. I'm sorry." I sat on the floor next to him.

"Why is Yuki sorry?"

"I'm sorry because I made you feel like you don't belong here. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I shouldn't have told you to go home, I shouldn't have pushed you away! I like living with you! I was just scared! I'm always scared! But I'd rather deal with this than let you leave and regret that decision for the rest of my life! I'm sorry. Please don't go. Please."

Haru sat motionless for a minute, processing what I said. Then the tears came, and they didn't stop for a while. Slowly, he lifted his shirt and placed another band-aid over his heart; one was already there. Cradling his fishbowl to his chest, he was finally ready.

"Haru has something to say, too. I'm sorry for the lip-thingy. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted us to have something special like the people on the television. I know I don't understand Yuki sometimes, and I mess up a lot, but... Can we still be friends?"

"Yeah, we're friends."

"And I can still see Kate?"

"Mhm."

"And... is Yuki still mad at Haru?"

"No, I'm not mad at you."

"Really?!" Haru's face lit up. Finally, the tears stopped.

"Yeah, I forgive you. Just promise me you won't kiss me again."

"Kiss?"

"That's what the 'lip-thingy' is called. A kiss."

"Why are kisses bad?"

"They're not bad, it's just... Well, boys aren't really supposed to kiss each other. And you only kiss people when you like them. I mean, as more than a friend."

"Yuki doesn't like Haru?" He almost broke into tears again.

"No! I mean yes! I do like Haru! It's just, how do I explain it?" I couldn't think straight while Haru was on the verge of another breakdown, so I improvised. "You can kiss me! Just not on the lips. Only on the cheek and when no one else is around, okay?"

"You really mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it." I sighed, relieved that Haru finally dried his eyes.

"Yuki, are hugs okay too?"

"Yeah."

Haru set his fishbowl to the side and crawled over to me. He wrapped his arms around my torso and squeezed tightly, gripping my shirt and burying his head in the nape of my neck. I knew that succumbing to his tears and allowing him to kiss me would somehow backfire in the end, but I let it go. For now, I hugged him back and rested my head on his.

"Haru, you'll come fishing with us again, right?"

"You want me to fish with you?"

"We all do! It's not the same without you. You're the reason we fish together in the first place, you should be there."

"But-but Haru is the reason why Yuki and the others were hurt at Akemi..."

"That's not your fault, and all of us are doing just fine. Tomorrow after school, you should join us."

"Okay! I'm not hurting anymore. I don't need these."

Haru broke the hug and started peeling off the band-aids he'd placed on himself earlier. They were on his arms, stomach, chest, everywhere."

"I don't think band-aids fix that kind of pain. Hugs work better. And so do kisses! Haru likes Yuki! Haru likes Yuki!"

Haru leaped onto me and began smothering me with kisses. As embarrassed as I was, he was happy, and I couldn't help but soak in some of that happiness, too. Haru was different. He was completely unlike anyone I'd ever met. Natsuki and Akira were different in their own ways as well. Grandma always told me that people were like snowflakes. Each of us have our own patterns, but as the snowflakes fall, they all come together in one smooth blanket of snow. We all went well together like rooftops and frost, but Haru was still one hell of a special snowflake.


	5. Haze

A/N: This update is just a stream-of-consciousness from Natsuki's POV (since it's all in italics, I'm not doing the A/N in italics like I usually do). Not so much a chapter, it's more like an intermission from all the drama in the past four chapters and an introduction of what's to come. I hope you like it! Reviews are always appreciated. = u =

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_**Haze**_

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~NATSUKI~

_It almost feels like this semester of school's been a breeze. I spent last summer working at my family's shop, and on my down time, I'd fish. Well, down time was basically all the time. If I wasn't with Sakura, I was alone. I always thought I'd have friends if I wanted to. Otherwise, I didn't need them. I guess that's why the exact opposite happened. First, I was dragged into fishing with a weirdo who can't go two seconds without panicking about something and a so-called "alien" with an unbearably grating voice. Oh, and then there's the guy with the turban who literally popped out of the sand. Not to mention that he has a pet duck. Totally normal. Now, we're hanging out everyday after school. How did I ever come to like them? When I think about it, we're one hell of a group. There's the anti-socialite, the irritating boy, and the twenty-five year-old idiot who's still in high school. How was I dragged into this one? I don't even remember agreeing to the fishing lessons._

_Somehow, we ended up being like a crew. But Yuki and Haru… it seems to me like they have a little more going on than that. Haru's always chased after Yuki, and then Yuki pushed him away. That's nothing new. But recently, Yuki's let Haru in a little more. It's like something happened between them to make them closer. All of a sudden, Haru agrees to fish with us again, and then he's literally hovering over Yuki? And Yuki isn't reacting strangely to that like he usually would? Eh… They do live together, so I could be reading into it too much. Maybe they're like brothers. Or maybe Haru just has that effect on him. Now that I think about it, Haru has an effect on everyone. I mean, sometimes I find myself smiling when we fish together. It's pleasant, but creepy. I'm not exactly the "happy" type myself, but things do change with time. Ah, time... it really has been flying by. It's like everything building up to this point has been a haze. I'm a bit anxious to see how everything unfolds._

_…_

_No, I can't be overreacting. Yuki and Haru are hiding something, and I'm determined to figure out just what that is. I think I already know what __it__ is. I'll talk to Akira about it. As nosy as he is, he can't help but look into it with me. Better yet… it might be more fun to set them up on a date. After all, how many times has Haru used that damned water gun on me? There's nothing wrong with a little harmless revenge._


	6. Flame

_A/N: Today, I have a two-part update! I felt like writing a little bit of Akira, and I'm not sure if I hit his personality on the head but I still couldn't resist. This update is kinda long but I hope that's alright. Enjoy and R&R! Reviews are Radical._

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_**Flame**_

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~AKIRA~

In the past, my missions were simple. I went undercover, found the information I needed, covertly executed my duties, and left. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky this time around.

I had no problem searching for an alien and discovering its motive for coming to our planet; that was exactly what I signed up for. I had no qualms whatsoever about disguising as a high school student and spending my days holed up in either a classroom or a fake curry shop. I didn't even mind chasing around a ditsy blonde boy with a voice that was too shrill for my liking. That, I could handle. As an undercover agent, there were plenty of setbacks that made completing a mission a challenging feat. What came along with that was entirely unexpected.

My focus started with Haru. Now, I had three more factors to add to the list of complications. Bullet point one: Yuki. Wherever Yuki went, Haru went as well. Therefore, I had to learn to deal with a moody teenager who apparently couldn't control his face. I also had to manage Tapioca, who was extremely startled by Yuki's strange behavior. Her feathers were always ruffled around him, and something told me that couldn't be healthy. Bullet point two: Natsuki. He was teaching the other two how to fish, so he was unavoidable. One minute, he hated everyone. The next minute, he still hated everyone, but slightly less. How annoying. Regardless, the main problem was bullet point three: The endeavors that we all encountered together. First, Haru's water gun posed a serious threat. Who knew that I would have to face the possibility of my mind being taken control of? I kept that threat in the back of my mind at all times. Then, Yuki made fishing more dramatic than it needed to be. Was it really necessary to scream while trying to catch a sea bass as if it was a real sport, like yoga? Above all, Natsuki has now employed me to help him set Yuki and Haru on a date. Simply put, I was too old for that.

In spite of my feelings, I agreed to help Natsuki. This was the perfect chance to keep a close eye on Haru. We made our preparations and sat in a discreet hideout location with full view of the set-up. Hopefully, Natsuki could stay focused, seeing that this was strictly business for me. I was an agent, so this was my occupation. Natsuki? I was pretty sure this made him a stalker. Maybe it would've been better if I hadn't agreed to this after all. But despite the obscene amount of childishness I had to endure in their company, I did enjoy it. For once, I could be in a setting where I wasn't endlessly being condescended by my superiors, where I didn't have to be serious every second of every minute, where I could play as hard as I worked. It was a good change of pace. So, I guess I could put up with the silliness for a little while longer. The outcome might be worthwhile.

* * *

~YUKI~

"Yuki!" Haru shouted from the living room. "Natsuki called! He said to meet Akira and him at the ocean for some night fishing! Let's go! Go go gooooooo!"

"Oh, alri-" Before I knew it, Haru was dragging me to my closet to change clothes while he gathered our fishing gear. He was more excited to fish than usual because he loved how "the night changes the colors in the ocean", he said. In a heartbeat, we ran to the sea, his tight grip on my wrist hauling me along with him.

When we got there, I automatically knew something wasn't right. Natsuki lived closer to the ocean than Haru and me, so he should've been there before us. Also, Akira's curry shop was near my house, so he should've arrived around the same time we did. On the contrary, the beach was completely void. There was nothing but the sound of waves crashing, the smell of saltwater, and the moon illuminating a candlelit dinner.

My first thought was that this couldn't possibly be meant for Haru and me. My mind went into movie reel mode, creating a list of possible scenarios as to why this romantic setting could be here. It almost felt wrong to sit at that table. This could've been set up by someone who was surprising their partner. They could've been on their way here right now. Most importantly, right after Haru and I got through the "kiss" situation, going on a date with him seemed counterproductive.

_Wait… why am I more bothered about digressing in our friendship than the fact that Haru's a boy? That's the biggest issue right there! Haru. Is. Male. He is an alien, probably a fish or something along those lines since he loves water so much, but he's still a boy fish! Oh my god, that's even worse. I'm having subconscious romantic thoughts about a fish. I kissed a fish. OH MY GOD. MY FIRST KISS WAS WITH A FISH. What am I supposed to tell my grandmother? Oh no. No, no, no._

"Yuki, look at the candles! It's making the water light up." Haru took off his shoes and buried his feet in the sand. He ran up to the candlelit table, more focused on the flickering lights than the succulent food.

"Come over here, Yuki! Look at the pretty candles. Ooh…"

His voice broke the ice-cold lock that I was in. His smile was so infectious, so much more important than I ever imagined it could be. Before I met him, everything was cold and detached. Anything could send shivers that went down my spine and froze in my core. Everything became a fear, even the things that I had to face on a daily basis. So, I tucked away the softest parts of me, and they remained buried in a distant place where I hoped no one could find them. I didn't intend it to happen, but I let my life revolve around never allowing my true self to surface, so the best part of me solidified into a kind of permafrost, I'd say. Haru pissed me off so much because he reversed everything I'd worked for to protect myself. He melted the ice, he tamed the cold shivers, he forced me to come to terms with myself. It was like my body reacted to him as water does to a steady flame. I never thought a friendship could be so strong that it changes you. I never thought it could make you get to a point where you want to change. But when I saw him smile, I was there.

Just like that, I decided to dine with Haru. Since he had no idea of what a "date" was anyway, and we were good friends, I figured it was harmless to sit with him and enjoy the meal. Why did I forget that out of the blue, there was a candlelit dinner by the sea with no explanation and our friends had stood us up? I just might have dug myself a grave with my own naivety.


	7. Formal

_A/N: This update is long overdue! Sorry for the wait, but my computer hasn't been working! I know I owe you all two more updates since I'm supposed to be posting everyday, so please bear with me. Thanks for your patience and support. And as always, reviews/constructive criticisms are welcomed with open arms and cupcakes and every ounce of my love._

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_**Formal**_

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~YUKI~

School resumed on Monday as it did every week. Yet today, something was off. I was the socially inept loser with anxiety problems. The students were a bit shocked at my meltdown on the first day, but they quickly dismissed it. Haru's wild claims and erratic behavior became a normal occurrence as well. Almost instantly, we became the unnoticed. That was our place, in the back of everyone's minds. It was a surprise to me that our status changed overnight, and in a seemingly negative light.

Monday morning, Haru and I walked into the school building and were received with wide eyes. Every last one of them. Frantic, I scoured through every possibility as to why Haru and I were the center of attention. It couldn't have been my hair. It was always a messy tangle of red locks. Haru always had his fishbowl with him, so that wasn't it. Maybe it was strange that Haru had his arm locked in mine, but that shouldn't have been a surprise, either. What was it, then?

I steered Haru towards the bathroom and ran inside, my heart skipping a beat. I was so nervous that my knees almost buckled. The room began to spin, and my insides felt like they were trying to free themselves from my body, tearing through the fabric of my skin. At the height of my frenzy, I fell to the floor, trembling with cold and heat. I was only able to breathe in spurts, my throat constricting to a thin passage. It was hard enough to look at one person. Having the entire school watch my every move wasn't something I was well-equipped for.

"Yuki? Yuki! What's wrong? Yuki, what's wrong?!"

Haru was screaming, his face contorted in horror. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to do something, but all of his attempts were useless. I knew he wouldn't have any knowledge of how to handle a situation like this, yet I still couldn't stop hyperventilating. Every time my breath shortened, I felt worse and worse. I couldn't stop myself. Now, on top of the fear and anxiety I already felt, I had to cope with the fact that everything I did affected Haru. I'd never experienced such an intense feeling of guilt. I wanted to breathe normally, I wanted my nerves to subside, I wanted the room to stop spinning. I wanted to stand beside Haru instead of pulling him down to my level. I just wanted everything to stop. If I could remember how it felt when the cold shivers were tamed and the ice melted, if I could bring back that sensation of warmth and find the calm of the storm…

"Yuki, I think I found something! Maybe this will make you better!"

Haru leaned over me and picked up a slip of paper that had been tossed to the floor. I was still limp in his grasp, barely holding onto my consciousness. What I saw next tipped me over the edge. It was a photo of Haru and me at the beach, sitting at the candlelit table next to the water, casually chatting and dining. In that moment, I realized that this photo must have been circulating around the school. Every student and faculty member had probably seen it. And this photo would haunt me for the rest of my days here until summer came again. I didn't have to guess what everyone thought about this. I already knew.

A boy from my calligraphy class walked into the bathroom and immediately had something clever to say.

"Look, I know you two are formally a couple now, but a public bathroom isn't the bedroom. Go somewhere, would you?"

That was enough for my subconscious to overwhelm me.


	8. Companion

_A/N: Another update! Yay! This one's a little sad, so the next chapter will be light and happy._

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_**Companion**_

* * *

~HARU~

_I don't know what happened, but Yuki's hurt now. The way everyone looked at him… they must've done something bad to him. Yuki always gets scared and goes away sometimes, but he never faints. Never. How do I know if he's still alive? What do I do… Someone help me… Help me, please…_

I had to help myself. Everyone at school looked at Yuki with the same kind of eyes, so I had no other choice. I hauled him into the bathroom stall that said "OUT OF ORDER", hoping that no one would go in there. With my water gun tucked into my jacket, I left the bathroom for the principal's office. The students around me were throwing weird glances at me, whispering things between them. I pretended not to hear. I had more important things to worry about.

"Haru, as nice as it is to see you, the bell rings in two minutes. You should get to class."

The principal greeted me kindly, surprised to see me. I smiled, and shot him with my water gun. A tiny spurt of water hit his forehead. For a brief moment he was confused, and then his eyes lost focus. His posture stiffened, waiting on my command.

"Repeat after me through your speakerphone," I said. Then I began slowly, unsure of what to say. "Later today, there's a rainstorm."

"Later today, there's a rainstorm."

"There's a chance of flooding and mudslides from the hills."

"There's a chance of flooding and mudslides from the hills."

"School is cancelled, and everyone should return to their homes."

"School is cancelled, and everyone should return to their homes."

"Now, stop repeating after me, make sure everyone leaves the building, and then go home."

Mechanically, the principal stood and followed my orders. Since everyone made Yuki feel bad, I wanted them to leave. After I made sure that the building was cleared, I went back to Yuki. He was still safe and sound in the bathroom stall, breathing silently with his mouth slightly cracked open. I came to the conclusion that Yuki wasn't hurt anymore. He just didn't feel good, so he went to sleep. In that case, I wanted him to sleep comfortably. But I didn't realize how heavy he was until I tried to lift him up. I had to run to reach the nurse's office before I fell over with Yuki slung onto my shoulders. Luckily, we made it! Sluggishly, I dragged him onto a bed, and removed his shoes and his jacket. I also gave him a few extra pillows from the other beds. Now that I knew he could rest peacefully, I could focus.

_I still have lots to do. When Yuki wakes up, he might not be happy. I should do something nice for him, something fun! But what would that be? Hm… Well, he isn't feeling good. What do I do when I'm not feeling good? Oh yeah, I swim! Yuki can't swim, though… And we always fish, so that might not cheer him up. What if I spray him with water? Water always makes me feel better! But he's human. Humans like air. Oh, I know! Yuki can't swim and he doesn't want the water to touch him, but he likes fishies. Let's go to the aquarium! Wake up, Yuki! There's lots of pretty fishies to see!_

I waited, and waited, and waited, and Yuki didn't wake up. It had already been two hours. How long did it take humans to die? Was he already dead?

_No, he's okay… He has to be okay. He didn't get to see the pretty fishies yet. I-I'm just thinking too much! Yuki is fine, and he's gonna go to the aquarium, and he's gonna be okay. Kate says we're companions and we'll always have each other, so that means he has to be okay. He can't leave me here, right?_

_But he's still asleep._


	9. Move

_A/N: *Sobs* finally a new chapter! I had horrible writer's block yesterday and sat in front of the computer for two hours with only four sentences. Also, this 30 day prompt challenge was supposed to be happy! But it has so much drama in it, just like Mawaru Penguindrum. Anyway, it's here! Tell me your thoughts on it, yeah? *winkywink*_

* * *

**_Move_**

* * *

~YUKI~

_"Hi Yuki! You can wake up now. I made all the mean people go away, so it's safe for you."_

_"Yuki, are you still in there?"_

_"Yuki, if you still don't feel good, you can have some of my water when you wake up. Just don't die, okay?"_

_"Uh… Yuki, I ate some of your hair again. I'm sorry! It just looked so yummy, but I couldn't go get food and leave you here all alone…"_

I woke up in an all white room. The brightness of it stung my eyes and put me into more of a daze than I already was. Gradually, my vision cleared and I could see again. As I moved my hand, I realized there was something soft beneath me, something fluffy. A bed! I was in a bed, but that knowledge didn't solve the question of where I was. So I looked around. To my right, there was a row of beds lined up with mine, curtains drawn back, and a window that was cracked open. To my left, there was a door in front, a desk to the far side, and Haru. Wait, Haru?

"Yuki," Haru squeaked, trying not to startle me. "You're awake now. I was worried."

"Worried? What happened? And why am I in a hospital?"

"You're not in a hospital, silly. You're in the school nurse's office. You fainted because everyone was being mean to you, so I made the principal call off school. I took here so you could rest in a comfy bed. Do you feel better now?"

"Wha- wait, what did everyone do?"

Haru dug around in his jacket pocket until he found a photo. No, _the_ photo. And it all came rushing back to me. The late night call from Natsuki, the "date", the entire school thinking Haru and I were a formal couple, the cold shivers, and the blackness. For the first time, I was furious. Why the hell would Natsuki set us up? I thought we were friends. Obviously, I had thought wrong.

"Yuki, are you okay?"

I looked up at Haru. He looked drained, almost like he could pass out any second. Then I realized that for however long I'd been asleep, Haru stayed with me the whole time. He didn't get up to leave, to eat or douse himself with water. He was talking to me while I was subconscious, hoping that I would wake up. Those voices in my head were him trying to reach me and pull me out of the state I was in. He let himself suffer just to make sure I was alright. _He let himself suffer._

"Yuki, where are we going?"

Hurriedly, I left the bed and slumped Haru over my shoulder before I realized that I didn't have any shoes on. Regardless of that, I still ran. Haru was so exhausted that his voice had minimized to a barely audible whisper. I knew that water would revitalize him, and there were showers in the locker rooms that would definitely do the trick. It was only a matter of getting there, but with Haru on my back, that made the task much harder. Not only that, but my stomach was going to tear a hole in me if I didn't eat something soon. I just needed to forget the distractions and move quicker, run faster.

_Come on! Move, Yuki! Move!_

Finally, I reached the locker rooms. I sat Haru on the floor and immediately started the shower. As soon as the water touched him, he sighed, seeming content. Haru pulled me down to the floor and into a hug, showering me with wet kisses.

"Yuki did the same for Haru as Haru did for him. I want to thank Yuki. Let's go to the aquarium, yeah? All the pretty fishies will make you feel better!"

"Yeah, that sounds fun. We'll have to go home and change into dry clothes first, though. We need to eat, too."

"Okay! Haino haino haino, yoisho yoishona!"

At this point, Haru and I were both hungry, tired, and drenched in water. Not only that, but I had a massive headache, my legs were sore, the student body thought we were gay, and I still had a bone to pick with Natsuki. But for now, all of that was in the back of my mind. I had an epiphany, a sudden understanding of something amazing. It had been growing on me for a while, welling up inside of me, and it finally struck me. I had a great friendship with Haru, one I wouldn't trade for anything. So, if he wanted to go the aquarium, then we're going.


	10. Silver

_A/N: AQUARIUM DATE! WOO!_

* * *

_**Silver**_

* * *

~YUKI~

Haru was more than excited to go to the aquarium. It was a bit of a long walk, so I packed a few things for us. In my messenger bag, I stored an umbrella, some snacks for us to eat on our walk, my cell phone, a portable charger, and a few bottles of water for Haru. Meanwhile, Haru made a bento that he'd learned about in our cooking class. We sat in our pajamas and ate lunch on the couch. So far, the day had been pretty wild but had taken a turn for the better. That is, until we had to get dressed.

Our school uniforms were soaking wet. Haru took it upon himself to put together ridiculously colorful clothes for us to wear to the aquarium. To no one's surprise, I was against it at first. I mean, he was wearing a yellow shirt with orange pants, a purple hoodie, and my lime green sneakers. And my outfit? It was completely red, even my socks. Either way, he was going to wear his multicolored outfit, and I just couldn't let him walk down the street like a rainbow by himself. In the end, I gave in.

The distance from my house to the aquarium was four miles. For four miles, Haru and I earned confused glances from strangers and bodacious comments about how hysterical our outfits were. For four miles, everyone continuously made fun of Haru, who was oblivious to it all. So, for four miles, I had to chase after Haru, who constantly kept wandering off to tell passersby about his clothes and was received with more than subtle insults.

When we got to the aquarium, it was dark, only illuminated by the glowing fish tanks and radiant fish. That made our clothing a little less noticeable, so I was grateful for that. Luckily, it made my complexion discreet as well. Haru was… well, he was glowing. He was so happy to wear my clothes and see the fish, he couldn't stop smiling. It was almost like he could fit in with the children, pressing his face to the glass and bouncing in place. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He looked like he was in bliss. That made us a bit of a spectacle, but it was alright. He was happy, and I didn't want to take that away from him.

Haru also told me a lot of things about the fish on his home planet. Their society and human society have commonalities and differences. The species of fish are named based on what part of the planet they're from. Fish from the same region can communicate to each other mentally, whereas if they want to communicate with a fish from another region, they have to use a variety of low-pitched sounds. I also learned that the fish on our planet are a different species than the ones on their planet, which would explain why he loves the aquarium. On his home planet, they don't have states or provinces or anything of the like, only regions that are named just like our continents since it's hard to separate a large body of water into divisions. Every fish has a first name, but no surname. They mostly spend their time looking for food, spending time with their families, and keeping their young away from predators. Basically, human life was much more complex than theirs. More importantly, he told me one thing about his kind that made me understand him a lot more.

"Yuki, you know how the elderly people here have silver hair because they've lived for a long time?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, on my planet we're born silver, and as we grow older, our scales become colorful. Silver is a symbol of death. Millions of fry never make it past their silver scales. So I love colorful things! Color is our symbol of life. Yuki's hair reminds me of that, and that's why I like Yuki."

I was completely taken aback. A rush of feelings came to me at once, inebriating me. In that moment, I really wanted to hold Haru's hand. So I did. I slid my fingers between his, and he returned the favor. We held hands for the rest of our time at the aquarium and even on the walk home. Now I really had to ask myself: Did I have feelings for Haru?


	11. Prepared

_A/N: Chapter Eleven, in which I add more drama for reasons unknown._

* * *

_**Prepared  
**_

* * *

~YUKI~

After Haru and I came home from the aquarium, I grabbed a quick snack and headed straight to Natsuki's house. I had put the issue off long enough.

When I made it to Natsuki's house, I lightly rapped my knuckles on his door. Sakura answered.

"Oh, hi Yuki! Come on in!"

"A-actually, I'd rather not. Can you just call Natsuki down?"

"Uh… sure."

When Natsuki came down to see me, I had a mini-breakdown inside of my head. Today was such a powerful day. On my way here, I felt ready to confront him. Now that he was standing right in front of me, I had the urge to run. How could someone like me be prepared for confrontation? I kept telling myself that I should've found another way to solve this, but there really was no getting around it. I tried to use my experience with confronting Haru to strengthen me, but the memory of it drained from my mind, leaving me in an empty, feeble state. Too feeble to even run. I had to deal with this.

"Yuki? What brings you here so late?" Natsuki was not amused, as usual. What more could I expect?

"Oh! Uh, it's nothing really, I-I…"

"Spit it out already."

"Ah, well…"

_Here comes the panic. Don't run. Don't run. Don't run._

"Y-yesterday you texted Haru and I late at night to fish, but you never showed up! And there were candles and a table and food! Like, it was a date! You set Haru and me up on a date! And you took pictures and now the whole student body knows about it! Everyone thinks we're dating! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? FRIENDS DON'T DO THAT TO EACH OTHER! S-sorry for yelling…"

My entire body was so tense that I ended up shouting every word that I'd intended to speak. Anxiously, I fled behind a bush, literally praying that Natsuki wouldn't kill me. To my surprise, he sighed. I expected him to yell at me, hit me, or at least be somewhat angry, but that wasn't even slightly the case. I came up from the bushes after being sure that he wouldn't try anything.

"Yuki, listen. I wanted to get some revenge on Haru, so I had the idea of putting you two on a date."

"I don't get it. How is that bad for him and not me?"

"Isn't it obvious? Can you imagine going on a date with someone who can't initiate a conversation without profusely sweating? Not to mention that you're boring and weird, and you make that ridiculous face of yours every five minutes. It would suck going on a date with you."

"If that's the case, then I'm not sorry for yelling at you. I take it back." _Jerk._

"I'm not finished yet. The date was just an idea. I made Akira set everything up since he was so interested in it, but I got bored, so I left. I mean, we camped out there for a while trying to get you two out there without seeming suspicious. By the time the obvious solution came to me, I wasn't interested in the setup anymore. Akira didn't want to be there by himself, so we packed up and left. Basically, it was a half-assed plan that was never executed. But there's something more. We never brought any candles because we set up everything during daylight. I didn't text you, either. So, I have no idea how things came to be like this. Either way, it worked out." Natsuki started laughing, not seeing the reality of the situation.

"What's so funny? The entire school thinks we're gay now! This isn't a joke!"

"Well, it definitely doesn't help that you two are all over each other at any given time. I mean, you hold hands, hug, walk down the hallway with your arms locked, you eat lunch together, and I could've sworn I'd seen Haru kiss you on the cheek a few times. I would've never had the idea of setting you two on a date if you weren't so close to each other in that way."

"Wha…"

I couldn't even deny it. All of this time, I just wanted Haru to be happy. I valued his happiness so much that I let him be as close to me as he wanted, even if it made me uncomfortable. It was his smile that made everything better, but I couldn't keep pushing away how I really felt. Eventually, it became more natural to me, so much that I didn't notice. Even when we were at the aquarium, I wanted to hold his hand. He had opened up to me and been so compassionate towards me. I wanted to reciprocate that, just a little bit, but I didn't have to do it in that way. When it came down to Haru, I became complacent. I'd never had any type of romantic feelings for him, not even a thought until earlier today. I was… I was leading him on.

_All along, I've forced myself to be okay with this. I've even tricked myself into thinking it was alright, but I never really liked it to begin with. I want Haru to be happy, so I just do what I know he wants even though there's no real feeling behind it. It's not like I ever wanted things to end up like this, but I let it happen. All I do is tell myself that Haru doesn't understand. He doesn't know any better. I just look down on him and let him touch me out of… pity, I guess. I'm not being a real friend. Of course, this would be my approach to the first friendship I've ever had. "Just do what they want to keep them around, keep them happy". I'm a liar. I lied to him and myself. A person like me could never be prepared for a real friendship. I should've known._


	12. Knowledge

_A/N: The devil's in the details. :-]_

* * *

_**Knowledge**_

* * *

~SAKURA~

In the middle of the night, Yuki came to my house to see Natsuki. The fact that he was here so late peaked my interest, but I didn't want him to know that. So I greeted him cheerfully as I always do.

"Oh, hi Yuki! Come on in!"

"A-actually, I'd rather not. Can you just call Natsuki down?"

"Uh… sure."

As soon as Natsuki stepped outside to speak with Yuki, I immediately sat behind the couch, close enough to hear them but far enough to be discreet if my big brother came back inside. Then, the stakeout began.

First, I heard a few mumbles. Natsuki and Yuki were speaking with their inside voices. After a short time, Yuki started yelling. He must've been flustered by something. What that was, I didn't know. He kept on yelling for a while, and then his voice died down. A few seconds passed, and then my big brother started speaking in the same monotone way, nothing new. Then he started laughing! What was that about? I could barely hear. I needed to get a little closer to them…

I crept from the couch to the chair next to the front door, trying to make as little noise as possible. Closer, closer…

"…funny? The entire school thinks we're gay now! This isn't a joke!"

_Wait? Which one of them was that?_

"Well, it definitely doesn't help that you two are all over each other at any given time. I mean, you hold hands, hug, walk down the hallway with your arms locked, you eat lunch together, and I could've sworn I'd seen Haru kiss you on the cheek a few times. I would've never had the idea of setting you two on a date if you weren't so close to each other in that way."

_Oh my god. Natsuki found out about the date! He wasn't supposed to know! But- hold on, Yuki said that the entire school knows now? How did that happen? All I did was set Haru and Yuki on a cute little date. They're so perfect together! I couldn't resist the temptation when I heard big brother talking about it on the phone with his friend. But then all of a sudden, they just didn't follow through with it, so I had to set up the date on my own. That's not so bad, right? Maybe I shouldn't have taken photos, but they were just so adorable! Now I've done something bad…_

_Should I tell them?_

_Well, maybe not now. Yuki's too upset about it. I'll just keep this little tidbit of knowledge to myself for now. Hehe :3_


	13. Denial

_A/N: Oh boy, what did I get myself into? Now I have no idea where to go with the rest of this story! lol enjoy~_

* * *

**_Denial_**

* * *

~HARU~

After Yuki and I went to the aquarium, he had been acting weird ever since. For the next few days, he stayed in his room. He even skipped school. I didn't know what to think of it all. He was being so different, and I couldn't understand why. I thought he just needed his alone time to sort everything out, and we would go back to the way we always were. I was wrong. This time, it wasn't okay.

Finally, after days of isolating himself, Yuki wanted to talk to me. He sat on the couch and waited for me to join him. Then, he drew in a long breath and began.

"Haru, I don't think we should be friends anymore."

"Y-you don't mean that, do you?" Yuki didn't respond. He didn't even bother to look at me. "Yuki!"

"I'm sorry, Haru. It's just… I haven't really been honest with you. At this point, it would be useless anyway. I'm not the type of person that has friends. I'm just not made for that type of thing. I… I don't want friends anymore. You should stay with Coco now. Thanks for everything."

Yuki started to get up and walk away. Standing up, I grabbed him by his shoulder and forced him to face me.

"What did I do this time, Yuki?"

"Didn't you just hear me? You didn't do anything."

"Yes I did. I made you not want to have friends anymore. It's my fault! Just tell me so I can fix it. That's what we did last time. We talked about it and we fixed it! Why can't we do that now?"

"Because I can't fix myself, Haru! Neither can you, so just go already."

He began to walk off again, as if his words were final. But they weren't.

"No."

"Haru, I said go!"

Yuki turned around to look at me, tears welling up in his eyes. Maybe he was telling the truth, but that was too hard for me to accept. So I kept denying it, kept telling myself otherwise. We would always be friends; I wholeheartedly believed so. For that, I couldn't stop fighting.

"No! You're not telling me something! What is it?"

"You really wanna know? Fine then! I'm done letting you hug me and kiss me and touch me whenever you want! It makes me feel uncomfortable, honestly! I've never hated it, but I've never liked it either. I just wanted you to be happy. I figured, 'He's an alien, it's fine. It's not weird'. I tried to rationalize the fact that I'm letting a boy, no, a _fish_ touch me everyday. Even if you were a girl, it _is_ weird, it _does_ bother me, and I wish you'd understand why! I mean, we went on a date. We held hands. It's like we're in a-a relationship! That's not what I wanted. I just wanted to be friends, and I wanted to keep everyone happy, but I messed up, not you. The truth is, I let this happen. I was so wrapped up in the idea of having a friend that I lied to you. I should've just sat down and explained to you why friends don't kiss, why we shouldn't hold hands. But you know what? I was too afraid to hurt your feelings because if you walked away, I'd be alone again. Sure, Natsuki and Akira are cool, but it's not the same. So I pretended that everything was alright when it wasn't. You probably don't understand, but I was a horrible friend to you. I'm sorry. I'd just rather be alone."

"You're wrong, Yuki. I do understand. You did something bad, just like I did. But you helped me, so now it's my turn to help you. Come back to my home planet with me, just for three days. If you still want me to leave after that, then I will. You have to give me a chance to help, though. You don't just get to decide that you don't wanna be friends anymore, okay? Yuki has taught me things. I have feelings too."

Even after how adamant Yuki was about me leaving, I was still in denial of it all. I couldn't just leave without making an effort to fix things. I wasn't ready to give up, not yet.


	14. Wind

_A/N: FEEL THE WIND! BE THE WIND!_

* * *

_**Wind**_

* * *

~HARU~

"Just wait for it, Yuki. It's coming, I promise."

Yesterday, I had the idea of bringing Yuki to my home planet, thinking it would be a great thing for him. He was very upset with me. Well, he was mad at himself, too. This made me realize that as much as I didn't understand Yuki, Yuki didn't understand me. What he knew about me was little. He didn't know where I came from and how life was on my planet. I vaguely explained it to him at the aquarium, but hearing and doing are two different things. When I told this to Yuki, he agreed to come with me. So, he came up with an explanation for Kate, I said my goodbyes to Coco, and we left everything behind for the beach at sunset. Yuki and I suited up in our space gear and sat on my ship, waiting for just the right moment to depart.

"Are you sure I shouldn't pack anything?" Yuki was nervous, I could tell.

"Nope. We'll be underwater most of the time. Human things can't handle water for long periods, right?"

"Well, yeah. But I mean, don't I need clothes or something?"

"Silly! Fish don't wear clothes."

"Oh. Um, what about me? How am I supposed to be underwater? I can't swim, and I'm definitely not a fish."

"You're not a fish right now, but you will be. Don't worry, it won't be forever! Only for the three days that we'll be there."

"…I still don't get it, but okay. Ah, last question. If you have to be here to take JFX back home with you, then… What I'm trying to say is, are you allowed to leave?"

"Yep! I'm only allowed three days to go back home. After that, unless I catch JFX, I can't return."

"S-shouldn't you save your days?!"

"No. This is important. Besides, Coco still has her three days, so it's okay."

"Haru, you don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. Isn't it funny? This time, you're the one who doesn't understand."

Yuki had a lot of questions, just like I did when I first came to Earth. Even before we arrived to the motherland, we had already switched places. I was familiar with everything, and he was the one who had no knowledge of my life. Yuki let me into his world, even into the places that were uncomfortable for him to share. He gave me so much of him. Now, it was time for him to know about me. It was only right, since we were friends. Kate told me that friends are honest with each other, always. Yuki wasn't very honest with me, but it was only because he wanted me around. That in itself was sincere, so I had to do the same for him. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I showed him who I am, then he'd show me who he is. Not partially, but completely. Truthfully. That's what I wanted to gain from our journey.

My thoughts were cut short by a chilling breeze.

"Yuki! Do you feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"The wind! Feel the wind! I've been waiting on just the right wind so we could have a smooth trip back home! FEEL THE WIND!"

"Um-"

"Let's go!"

As my ship set sail, Yuki clutched its head, trying to find a balance. I was used to sitting on the rounded ship, so it didn't scare me. The wind blew so perfectly as we drifted through the sky. All I could hope for was our journey to be as beautiful as that wind.


	15. Order

_A/N: Ahhh I haven't updated in too long! I've recently started singing and dancing lessons, so right now, I'm learning how to balance my time. I'm sorry if any of you feel like I've left you hanging! This time around, I've left you all with a longer chapter than usual. Enjoy! :3_

* * *

_**Order**_

* * *

~YUKI~

When Haru and I departed from earth, I expected to see space and stars, but what we encountered was entirely different than what I'd imagined. We went through the sky for some time. Clouds found their place beside me and then passed by, just like a taxi might if I was walking down a busy street. It was amazing how we went beyond the birds. Soon they became like ants by a wooden table, a mere addition to the scenery. Then we approached the atmosphere, where the lines between baby blue and midnight black blurred. The darkness should've been coming nearer, closing in. However, when we entered the place where atmospheric pressure shifts, the midnight seemed to peel back in favor of brighter colors. First, there was a mix between the blue and back, almost like a sullen teal; then came the purples, pinks, and greens. Soon, every color I could think of- some unknown- came into the mix, and there were variations of those colors. There seemed to be an aurora overhead, behind, below and beside me, almost palpable. I sat up on my knees and cupped my hands, trying to feel it. As if it was a blend of silk and wind, it slid over and around every part of me, filling every crease and in-between.

"Do you get it yet?" Haru asked me.

"I… I don't know."

"When we went through the sky, the levels in our bodies were changing. Once our levels matched the pressure in the atmosphere, we were able to float through it. There's one bad thing about it, though. Each part of the body has different qualities, so one part might have to lower its pressure to match the atmosphere's while another might have to raise it. So, our bodies separate into particles while we move through space to make that process easier. That's why you're going to be really sick after we land. It'll only last a little while, though. But it's not a very nice feeling."

"So… what about the suits we're wearing?"

"Oh, these? They make sure that all of our particles don't move in different directions. Basically, it stops us from… um, I don't know the word for it. It's uh… disintegrating! It stops us from disintegrating. The suit breaks down into little bits and covers each particle, holding them in place. That's why the suits are kinda uncomfortable. But there's good things about space travel too! Poke your tummy."

I still hadn't fully processed what Haru had just told me, but I pushed it to the back of my mind and poked my stomach. My hand went straight through me.

_My hand went straight through me._

"Haru! How did- what?!"

"It's called 'iota'. Since our bodies and the suits are broken down into small pieces, every particle can fit in the spaces between each other! Isn't this fun?" Haru crawled behind me and stuck his head through me, looking up at me from my stomach. "Hi Yuki! I'm your tummy!" Then he lifted his arms through my sides and below mine. "Look! Now you have four arms! Chururururu!"

I think the sickness was starting to kick in.

After a while, the blackness that peeled back earlier began to resurface, like a crack in the spectrum's wall that spread until it encompassed everything. It so was dark that I couldn't see Haru even though he was right beside me, his arm slightly pressed against mine. Gradually, the stars began to appear. Some were distant, and others were close enough that I could see the detail in them. I enjoyed the view while I had it.

"Yuki! Can you see my planet?"

"Where is it?"

"Look down! Look look look!"

"Is it that molten rock thing? It looks kind of small… and why is it just a rock?"

"Yeah, that's it! The planet has an outer shell of rock as camouflage. Most aliens think our planet is just another meteor or asteroid, so our planet is never invaded. And it's not small, we're just all the way up here!"

_Oh._

"Okay Yuki, this is the fun part! We're going down now. Are you ready?"

"I-I don't think I'm r-re-"

"Let's go!"

I thought it would feel like falling, but it was the exact opposite. As we fell, it was like air passed through every pore, though there was no air. The feeling resembled the time when I was six years old and I had ridden my first plane. After we landed, I felt light, as if there was no ground beneath me and I had no bones. Haru and I were nothing and something, all at once. How nice.

It took us a few minutes to get in the vicinity of Haru's planet. When we were close, he switched modes, from carefree to cautious.

"Yuki, this next part is really important! In twenty seconds, we'll hit the surface of my home planet. In order to get in, you have to pass through the rock. There's no opening like the ones on Earth. Just think of yourself like water. Water can slip through any crack, right? Think _water_."

The same transparency that I had felt in the sky was what carried me through the external shell of Haru's planet. When I got through, I expected to be immersed in water, but where we were, there was only air and land. It was a forest-like area about the size of a football field, a miniature peninsula covered in greenery with water surrounding every edge. Even more unbelievably, I had landed without an impulse to vomit.

"Haru, aren't you a fish? Shouldn't there be more water"

"Yeah I am! But fish need oxygen too, so we have retreats where there's land, kinda like little Earth spas! They're really tiny, though. Over ninety percent of my planet is water, but I didn't want to put you in water with no warning when you can't swim yet. So I came here first."

"Oh, I get it."

"That's good! Okay, there's one last thing I have to do. Then, everything will be in order." Haru began smiling at me, almost in a scheming way. I had no idea what his next plans were, but as long as they didn't involve falling through the sky, I think I could take it.


	16. Thanks

_A/N: So, I've taken a slight break from the plot of Haru's planet to take care of some unfinished business. While Yuki and Haru are in space, here's what's happening back on Earth._

* * *

_**Thanks**_

* * *

~NATSUKI~

Things had been odd lately. First, school was closed on Monday due to a rainstorm that never happened. There wasn't one cloud in the sky. Then, Yuki and Haru hadn't come to fish with me lately. They hadn't even shown up to school. Well, that wasn't exactly odd, per se. I mean, the entire school had the notion that they were a formal couple. Not to mention that I had been rude to Yuki for some time now. He had plenty of reason to avoid me, and if he was gone, so was Haru. Either way, that wasn't something I should've cared about. Everything was better like this, so why was it still on my mind?

I shouldn't have cared that Yuki was gone. I shouldn't have cared that he hadn't fished with me for a while. Even if he never spoke to me again, I shouldn't have cared. That was my aim, to make Yuki hate me, to make him give up on me so that I could give up on him. Everything that he did affected me in every way possible, every word, gesture, glance… the culmination of that was too much. As often as I put up the front that he annoyed me, he never has. He was all that I wanted, and all of that want welled inside of me unexpectedly. He had some problems, but I had my own set of issues as well. I'd been a complete ass to him because of a response that I elicited from my own scheme.

Almost overnight, Yuki and Haru became closer. The date between them was meant to be a turning point in their relationship. Haru always had some time of infatuation with Yuki in one way or another. But I always knew that Haru's touchy-feely tendencies bothered Yuki because he never returned Haru's feelings in that way. My intention was for Yuki to tell Haru that they were just friends, that they could never be something more than that. Yet, Yuki had wormed his way around that conversation. Why was it so hard for Yuki to be honest about it? Why couldn't he close the door? The obvious answer was that something was there in the crack of the door, holding it open. That could've been anything. It bothered me to find fault with the possibility that I could be with my closest friend. So, I let my natural instincts overcome me.

When Yuki confronted me about the date, I was unnecessarily cruel with him. I'd never been one to deal with unresolved feelings well, but I never thought I would go that far. I told Yuki things about himself that I knew would make him insecure. It was less to condescend him and more to convince myself that his negatives didn't outweigh his positives. However, the latter didn't work at all, and the first succeeded flawlessly. Now, we were at a standstill.

_I shouldn't care that things have become like this, but I do._

Before I knew it, I found my windbreaker around me, my cell phone in my pocket, and my knuckles rapping on Yuki's front door. I expected to see him, to find the right words for an apology, to at least talk about it. Rather, his grandmother answered the door and kindly invited me in with a cup of tea. We sat at her dining room table, sipping our drinks. Softly, she broke the silence.

"What brings you here? Are you a friend of Yuki's?"

"Yeah. I mean, I don't know."

"Talk to me about it."

"I… um, I _was_ friends with Yuki. Then I kind of ruined it. Well, not 'kind of'. I destroyed it, actually."

"How so?"

"Just… being dishonest, being cruel, being… jealous." _Mm, jealousy would perfectly describe it all._

"Ah, I see. You feel close to Yuki, right? Or at the least, you'd like to be?"

"Yes."

"And might I ask, does this have anything to do with Haru?"

I couldn't answer her, let alone look at her. It was embarrassing, talking about this kind of thing. The concept of being open about feelings was new to me.

"I'll take your silence as a 'yes'. What is your name?"

"It's Natsuki."

"Natsuki? As in 'summer'?"

"Mhm."

"Well, Natsuki, even a fully grown tree loses its leaves. But they always grow back, don't they?'

"They do."

"Then don't worry. You have to have faults within yourself to be able to grow, but unlike trees, we have to actively work to do that. If summer is your element, then you'll be sure to blossom. Would you like some more tea?"

"No, I'm fine. May I ask when Yuki will be back?"

"The day after tomorrow, I believe."

"Alright. I'll be back then."

After talking to Yuki's grandmother, I felt much better. What made things worse was not what I did, but the fact that I neglected it and let it carry on. It was okay to have feelings that weren't so positive. Yuki and I would've had to argue at some point in time too, considering that we were friends. But what made the difference between moving on from a mistake and being frozen in that place was how I dealt with it. So, I had a few skeletons in my closet that needed to be addressed. Now, I was finally ready to. Before I went home, I had one last thing on my mind.

"Miss, what's your name?" I asked.

"I'm Kate. Nice to meet you, Natsuki."

"You too." I bit my lip, looking for words to say that would perfectly show my gratitude for her, but only one simple thought came to me.

"Thanks. For everything."

"You don't have to thank me. Come back sometime! I have more than enough tea for you."

As I walked away, she waved me off. I smiled the rest of the way home.


	17. Look

_A/N: I'll return to Natsuki later. But for now, I'm continuing on with Yuki and Haru back on Haru's home planet. Taking things slow with this. Warning: The next chapter might be pretty long because a lot will happen, but I'll try to be direct with it. Also, later in this chapter when I get to the description of Haru in fish form, if you'd like a visual, here's what I used as a reference ( post/30488890893/updated-version-of-piratama-haru-oh-boy). Enjoy!_

* * *

_**Look**_

* * *

~YUKI~

_"…You're going to be really sick after we land. It'll only last a little while, though. But it's not a very nice feeling."_

When Haru said that to me on our way here, I didn't realize how intense the sickness would be. In an instant, my whole body convulsed. I fell to the ground, tremors violently claiming me. Everything was stiff, and all of me was throbbing. It felt like my muscles and bones and organs were shifting, trying to pack themselves together tightly. I guessed it was the opposite of the iota process. The particles that separated while we were in space were coming together again. For a few agonizing minutes, I couldn't move from the pain that found its way through every ounce of me. Seeing this, Haru knelt down to me with his hands cupped, holding a small pool of water. I lifted my head just enough to take it in. The water spread through my torso to my limbs, and finally out to the tips of my fingers and toes. As the water reached the farthest parts of my body, I felt it soothing me. While I laid there, relieved, Haru left and came back with a cluster of plants gathered in his arms, motioning me to eat. Before I had the chance to do so, he was shoving the vegetables in my mouth himself. I couldn't tell if he was frantic or excited, but surely, he was being meticulous.

"Alright, Yuki. Get in the water!"

"B-but I can't swim!" _Why so sudden?_

"That's why you ate the veggies."

"What?"

"When you eat another world's food, you become that species until you're able to leave that world. Didn't you know? It's the number one interplanetary rule! Even the _guppies_ know that!"

"I- are you serious?!"

"Yeah, now come on! Get in the water! It'll be fun."

"This is _not_ my idea of-"

Haru wasn't listening to me. At that point, his elation took him beyond anything I would've said or done. His mind was on autopilot with his sight set on the water. Unexpectedly, he stepped out of his spacesuit, then dragged me by my legs to the shore.

"H-Haru! You're naked!"

"Yeah, ding dong! Fish don't wear clothes."

With that, Haru slid my spacesuit off and rolled me into the sea against my will. One final push and I was in the ocean, desperately clinging to the sand beneath. Soon after, Haru dove in and found his way to my side. Gradually, I noticed that there seemed to be a viscous fluid seeping from the pores of his torso, reaching to the outermost parts of his hands and feet, the tips of his ears and the nape of his neck. His body was morphing, the fluid surrounding him melting into his skin perfectly. His legs began to mold together, and the color lifted from a pale peach to a radiant gold. Then, the fluid hardened and shed, revealing bright scales that served as a casing for his lower limbs. The scales partially went up the sides of his hips, stopping at his ribcage, where there were three carefully placed slits on each side. From the casing of scales on his lower body, there were fins similar to the one at the end of his tail that lined his shape. Those fins began as a shade of gold, then their tips became transparent. Even his hands were different. There was a thin sheet of skin between each finger. Lastly, where his ears were, there were fins as well. Haru looked like… a mermaid.

As I looked down, I realized that I was going through the same process, albeit a little slower than Haru. By the time my transformation was complete, I had nearly suffocated from being underwater without gills. Now I could breathe, but I still didn't know how to swim in this body. At least I could naturally stay afloat. Swiftly, Haru swam down to me and wrapped his arm around mine.

_"Can you hear me, Yuki?"_

Haru was simply staring at me, but I could hear his voice…

_"Yeah, that's right! We can't talk underwater, but we can communicate through our minds. Coco and I do it all the time on Earth! That's how we talk here, too."_

_"Oh. So, I just think and you can hear me?'_

_"Mhm."_

_"Okay, okay. Um, how do I swim?'_

_"Roll your head down and everything else will come with it. Try it!"_

A little unsure of myself, I dived my head forward. In a chain reaction, the rest of my body rolled outward, all the way down to my tailfin. As I kept going, I learned that if my arms were down to my sides, I moved faster. Likewise, my arms could control which direction I wanted to go in. I would definitely have to learn how to swim when I went back to Earth.

_"Yuki, look at your scales! They're so pretty, I can't stop staring!"_

I looked down at my tail. My scales were a luminescent coat of red, and the ends of my fins were a dull purple.

_"Yeah, they are nice."_

_"Are you ready to meet other fish now?"_

_"Um, I-I guess so."_

_"Then let's swim! We'll have to take the long way around, okay? It's because you're red."_

_"And that means…?"_

_"Other fish will be attracted to you. Larger fish that like to eat tiny fishies like us. You know, sharks and other sea dwellers."_

_"S-sharks?"_

_"Definitely."_

Of course. Just when I was starting to like the sea.


	18. Summer

_A/N: This chapter... wasn't even what I expected. But I like it. It leaves room for a future. Enjoy~_

* * *

_**Summer**_

* * *

~YUKI~

In the past two days, I realized how I'd been treating Haru. I wanted to give up on him, on everyone, but he wouldn't give up on me. It made me wonder, did he not see that our friendship was a lie? Or was he simply looking past that? Whatever the case may have been, he was determined. Maybe I should've been appreciative of this, but I hated it. As Haru and I swam through the oceans of his world, I didn't feel out of place. I always knew that he was my source of stability. If he was there, then I was okay. But it was that exact feeling that I wasn't okay with! I hated the energy he poured into me and the comfort I felt with him. He made it that much harder to push him away. Was that even the right thing to do?

As I contemplated on what my next move should be, Haru and I began to see an obscure figure as we swam on. Steadily, it approached us, becoming larger, darker, clearer… Frantic, I turned around, looking for somewhere to hide until the unknown figure passed. I was reminded of his words about "sharks and other sea dwellers". Just as I started to veer left, another voice rang in my head, but it wasn't Haru's.

_There is no need to run, human._

_Who was that?_ I answered the foreign, dark-pitched voice in a panic. Afraid, I swam back to Haru and hid behind him, my arms wrapped around his torso. My body was shivering down to the softest tips of my tailfin.

_Do not worry. I am merely what you would consider to be a whale. I do not know what brings you here, but I hope your journey through the seas is a safe one. My words of advice to you: Know your reason for being here. If you do not have purpose, then what can be done? Think for yourself, want for yourself, and then you will discover what you are searching for. Good luck, human._

I supposed that was the lavender whale's goodbye. He went his own way, gliding through the sea at his elderly pace. Maybe he was a senile fish. Who knows hold old he could've been, or how old the life forms here were able to age to. As Haru and I floated in place while the massive whale passed us by, I revisited one little detail. The whale was immediately able to tell that I was human. That meant the other fish would instantly notice as well, so I wondered how they would react to me. Just the thought of it made me uneasy. Before I had the chance to feel my stomach churning, Haru began to swim as fast as a missile, dragging me by the arm with him.

_YUKI! WE'RE HERE!_

Haru's home was beautiful. It was like a city in the water. There were large stalks of seaweed that served as canopies over the area. Rays of light shone between the tangle that tinted the ocean from blue to a radiant sea green. So many different forms of plant life painted the entire land as a garden in the sea. The area was similar to a forest. There weren't any buildings, but there were divisions for respective things, such as homes, schools, or places for fish to congregate as a whole. I could feel the vitality here.

Over the next three days, Haru was bubbling with joy to a point where he was almost unbearable. He had something planned for each day, the first being to introduce me to everyone. I met a school of guppies who raced towards me the moment they saw me. Even they immediately knew I was human, as young as they were. I thought Haru's hugs and kisses were bad, but these children played with my tail, bit my hair, latched themselves onto my arms, and consistently kissed my face. Also, I met his friends and older fish that cared after him, all of whom resembled earthly fish but had attributes that made them distinct. Haru couldn't resist the temptation to introduce me to a shark as well. Words couldn't explain the extent of my fear, but he was surprisingly nice. He even offered to let me touch his teeth. I had officially visited another planet, morphed into a mermaid, met a "blue" whale that was lavender, and touched a shark's teeth. Today was interesting.

On the second day, Haru showed me the daily routine of life on his planet. The second the sun illuminated the ocean, we had to go to school. However, it wasn't boring. We learned practical things like how to find food, avoid being eaten, camouflage ourselves, and how to survive in the event that we get lost and find ourselves in another region of the sea. Everything was going well until I accidentally inked during class. Then, things got worse. A nymph tried to kill me when she realized I was human. After I escaped with Haru's help, we had to take the guppies out to the open sea so they could eat. We came across a jellyfish-like creature and had to hide in a crevice until it passed. Later that night, all the fish gathered in the center of the city to listen to stories told by the elderly mermaids. Then, we retreated to our homes and rested.

On the third and final day, Haru took me to meet his grandmother, whom Coco and he lived with. She was a nymph by the name of Talia, just as beautiful as the ones I'd seen in my Greek mythology texts. Apparently, her sisters were the sirens that serenaded sailors to their deaths, but that was an activity she never partook in. Instead, Talia spent her time burying the sailors that her sisters brought here every summer. Her home was made of moss and wood from sunken ships. When we became acquainted with one another, she welcomed me with open arms as if I was one of her own. I reminded her of life, she said, because she had seen so much death.

We sat on the rocks of Talia's residence and talked for a while. She was centuries old with unparalleled wisdom. I couldn't believe I was talking to someone who had seen the worlds evolve. More than that, what I appreciated the most was how perceptive she was. Talia often said things that I connected with. That night, Haru and I had to return to Earth. Her last words to me were this:

_Yuki, out of all the humans I have met in this life, I have to say that you have pleased me the most. I can see that you have grown, and you still have much more growth in you. Just imagine the beauty of your soul when you've come of age. I will be watching you, for I would love to see the man you become. If you ever travel to the oceans of Greece in the summer months, I'll see to it that my sisters bring you here if you would like to visit us again. You are always welcome in this family._

With that, Haru and I left for home. Despite all that I'd learned on our adventure, when I met his grandmother, I finally understood. All this time, I lied to Haru to keep him around, but he had no intention of leaving. Haru was my family. And as our journey ended, I knew I could open up to him now.

_I'm ready._


	19. Transformation

_A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I've been busy, and a little sick. I hope this update doesn't make you too sad. ;~;  
_

* * *

_**Transformation**_

* * *

~YUKI~

When Haru and I finally returned home to Earth, the sickness from space travel was much less than before. As soon as we reached my house, I headed straight to my room, neglecting all else. Grandmother had left dinner for us in the oven, but I wasn't interested in eating. My reality weighed me down, so much that I sunk into my bed the moment I felt it. Coming home, I realized that I was a much different person than the last time I was here. It wasn't just my otherworldly experience. It was everything leading up to this point that came rushing to me in an instant. I just stopped.

Looking back, this year was a tumultuous one. An alien showed up at my doorstep and claimed our house as his home, and Grandmother allowed it! Then, with his persuasion, we met Natsuki and Akira and began to fish. According to Haru, one of his kind was in the ocean, and he was here to bring him home. So, we weren't just fishing. We were unearthing an alien. Twice now, our minds have been controlled by said alien. With that and many other obstacles being overcome, the time to catch JFX was near. Soon, Haru would have to return home. How could I come to terms with that, though?

Apart from our adventures with the group, Haru and I had our own journey. First, he kissed me in my sleep. I vividly remembered our first argument, and how we got through that. Then there was our date by the sea, and those few moments where I thought I might've liked him as more than a friend. That wasn't the case, but regardless, the entire school thought so. Just walking into the school with every student staring at us was a nightmare. Even still, confronting Natsuki was much harder than that. We managed to get along, though I haven't asked why he had such a negative opinion of me. More than that, I fell into a depression when Natsuki made me see how dishonest I'd been with Haru. Then, Haru and I had our second argument, but he still wouldn't give up on me. That lead to our voyage to his home planet. He showed me every part of him that he could, from his way of life to his family. Now, his stay on Earth was coming to an end? There were still things I had to say, but my time was running thin.

Normally, I would be panicking at this point, but I was too tired for that. I simply laid there, thinking about how Haru would look when he said goodbye. How he would say it. How he would sit beside Coco and sail through the sky, becoming smaller than a speck of dust until he vanished. Then, I would never see him again.

_What should I do?_

In the midst of my thoughts, Haru crawled onto my bed beside me. He turned over with his back to me and started breathing softly.

_Maybe now is the time…_

"Hey, Haru," I said lightly. He rolled onto his back and looked to me.

"Yeah?"

"Je n'ai plus peur."

"What's that?"

"It's French. It means, 'I'm not afraid anymore'."

"Is that true?"

"Yeah. I mean, we've been through a lot together. All of that wasn't leading in any particular direction, though. Not until you took me to your home planet. I haven't really had a family dynamic in my life, since Grandmother and I move so much. I'm so grateful for our friendship because you gave me that. I never knew how to be around people, and I never wanted to, either. Hell, I almost reverted back to that person a few days ago, but you gave me the push to move forward. Even though I said I didn't want friends anymore, I needed you more than anything. I was just… I was mad at myself. You were true to me all of this time, but I wasn't. I'm sorry. I really am."

"It's okay, Yuki. You don't have to be sorry."

"But I am. You'll be gone soon, and only now am I seeing things for what they are. I feel like it's too late. I just want you to know something before you go."

"Mm?"

"I'm glad you were here, and I have no regrets. Now, I know what it means to be happy, and I don't have to be alone anymore. Thanks for sticking with me. You changed my life, you know."

"Yuki changed my life, too. Yuki taught me things about love."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... Fish live to protect each other, but that's because we're family. I didn't know why I liked you so much when you aren't my family by blood. But everything I feel now, I've always felt it. Talia explained it to me. Kissing isn't the same here as it is on my planet. At home, everyone does it. But here, you have to feel it in your heart. I think I like Yuki in a different way than Yuki likes me, but I'm okay with that. You made me feel special while I was here. You let me kiss you because you care about me. I don't think that's a lie. It's a kind thing, but I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me anymore. I'm happy to love you, even if you don't love me back. I'm happy I know you."

Gently, Haru buried himself underneath one of my pillows and cried, and I cried with him. He taught me friendship, and I taught him love. We both hurt each other along the way, but we were better for it. This was honesty, this was the two of us being genuine to each other. What a painful thing to have done.

"I'm sorry, Haru."

"Don't be sorry, Yuki," Haru said as he removed himself from under my pillow. "I've never felt these things before. Don't cry, I'm happy. I got to fall in love, like the people on the television. I want you to be happy with me."

"Je suis heureux. Et je suis content pour toi."

"Is that French, too? What does that mean?"

"It means, 'I am happy. And I'm happy for you.'"

"Yuki, how do you say 'I love you' in French?"

"You say, 'Je t'aime'."

"Je... t'aime?"

"Yeah. That's right."

"Je t'aime, Yuki."

"Je t'aime aussi. I love you, too."

It pained me to see Haru cry for me. But despite this pain that we both felt, we were still able to wish happiness for each other. We went through a profound transformation, putting the other before ourselves. Maybe I didn't love him the way he loved me, but love was definitely there. I had a place for him in my heart, always.

_Je n'aurai pas à vous manquer. Tu es la plus grande partie de moi. Et Je t'aime aussi._  
_I won't have to miss you. You're the greatest part of me. And I love you, too._


	20. Tremble

_A/N: I haven't updated in way too long! Life really caught up to me. I hope this update was worth the wait._

* * *

**_Tremble_**

* * *

~YUKI~

Only two months of the school year remained. The true beginning of Haru's and my journey was in the fall, beginning with the incidents at Akemi. Now, spring had arrived. Even though Haru and I have blossomed in the spirit of the season, and even though we've achieved a beautiful friendship, it bothered me that what we had could never become companionship. We could never experience life together. I would never know how his appearance changed as he grew into adulthood. We would never celebrate our eighteenth birthdays, never receive our diplomas together, never share the same room in a college dorm. He would never be the best man at my wedding, and I would never see him fall in love with someone who gave him the love he deserved. I was used to being the one who moved away, leaving others behind. I'd never been left before.

Haru was still beside me in a peaceful sleep. I left cautiously, trying not to creak the bed. With my softest comforter, I tucked him in and crept across the wooden floor, soft steps making a barely-there patter. I went into the kitchen, seeking out a pre-made meal. Ever since our cooking class in the first semester, Haru always kept a stash of home-made bentos. Just as I thought, they were in the back of the freezer, carefully wrapped in plastic.

_This should do._

My mind was blank as I reached for a fork and sat down to eat. The routine of eat, chew, swallow, and repeat droned on in the quiet. For the time being, I didn't want to think about Haru. I didn't want to think about going back to school, about catching JFX or saying my goodbyes. I needed a moment of nothingness, just a second to be still.

As my bento was reduced to specks of sushi and rice scattered across the bowl, I heard a light knock on the frontdoor. I thought it would be Grandmother returning home after a long day's work. Quickly, I rinsed my hands and dried them, tossing the bento into the recycling bin. Then, I answered the door.

"Natsuki?"

"Hey. It's late, I know. Sorry."

Something was wrong here. It was eleven in the evening, and a heavy rain left the streets drenched, soaking the town in its fervor. Despite that, he still made his way here. Not only that, but the expression on his face was sullen, almost like a familiar sadness had wore him away. I could tell that he was hurting, and I didn't mind being the friend that he needed. But why did he come to me? He had such disdain for me. What compelled him to come to me, of all people?

"No, it's fine. Come in, come in."

Closing the door behind me, I ran to get two towels, one for him and the other for his ineffably wet hair. Only God knew how much water a head of hair like that could retain. I thought he could use a pair of dry clothes too, so I found a hoodie and some old sweats for him. One of Kate's core philosophies was to be hospitable, and she raised me accordingly. It was my nature to immediately prepare tea and a slice of cake, to ask the predictable questions, "Would you like something to warm your feet? A blanket? A glass of water?" It was a wonder that I was so welcoming to him, since he made it clear that he wasn't partial towards me. He rarely spoke to me, and when he did, it was harsh, clipped. He wouldn't look me in the eyes as we conversed, and his attitude toward me was always cold, always distancing. Even still, the formalities helped to fill the lack of conversation, for I knew well that after they were said and done, I would be at a loss for words.

I invited Natsuki to the small greenhouse in my backyard, a glass structure attached to the outside of my home. He seemed very upset, like something was disturbing him. Whenever I was in a mood similar to his- especially during the rain- I sat here, watching the drops cascade down the windows, a small reprieve from the storm of the world and the one inside of me. We sat there like that for a while, curled up in wooden chairs and wrapped in woven blankets. I waited for him to speak.

"Yuki," he began slowly. The wheels were spinning in his head; he had things to say. Now, it was just a matter of saying it. That feeling of wanting to speak but not knowing how, I knew it well. So, putting my anxiety to the side as best I could, I tried to encourage him.

"G-go on, Natsuki. I-I'm listening."

"There's not much to say, really. I... actually like you."

"Wha..."

Natsuki went on at the same easy pace, measuring every word as though his life depended on its accuracy.

"Yeah, I've always liked you quite a bit. Truthfully, I'm more fond of you than I should be. I know this doesn't make much sense, but that's the reason why I treat you the way I do. Remember the candlelit dinner by the sea? It wasn't my doing, but it was my idea. I wanted you to be honest with Haru, to tell him that you didn't return his feelings. You two are so close that a part of me feels jealous. So I went ahead and did such a horrible thing. But I realize now that he makes you happy, and it was wrong of me to try and hinder that in any way. And as for my disposition towards you- there really is none. I tried pushing you away to overcome the feelings I've harbored for you. All I did was hurt you, and you didn't deserve any of that. I can't take back anything I did, no matter how hard I try to wish it away. I don't feel like I have the right to ask you if we can start over, even though that's what I want the most. Besides, my feelings for you would probably just bother you in the end, and at this point, I'm positive I can't let go. So, I'll leave you alone after this. I just needed to say I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I forgave you a long time ago. I-if it's fine with you, then... let's start over."

Natsuki was shocked into silence. Not a word came from either of us after that. It was just him and me. I was sure that he had plenty more to say- even I had things I'd have liked to disclose with him, but I didn't need to. I was grateful for his apology, and I had an inkling that he cherished the second chance. I could feel all the words we wanted to say coming down to one point, hanging in the midst of the quiet and the rain.

_Thank you._

With the closure of one bond approaching, I saw the beginnings of another forming. It was comforting to know that after Haru was gone, I still had someone. Every friendship was compromised in some way, but the ones that held true value always triumphed. His apology was so timely, arriving just when I began to question what was next for me. However, I would've accepted him whenever he came around. Empathy was a quality I had in abundance, and it helped me to function in the social world more than anything else. This empathy would always be there, inclining me to reach out to others. That was what I'd learned from Haru, and it was what I'd use to build something with Natsuki, something strong.

And then I began to tremble, because I finally understood: _There is life after this._ Every good thing may come to an end, but the end is always the means for a new beginning.

_I'll be okay._


End file.
